Focus and Flow: The Paradox of Control in Sports and life

februari 27 2025

In this article, you’ll read about:

What is the paradox of control?
The impact of Timothy Gallwey’s The Inner Game of Tennis
How Self 1 and Self 2 influence your performance
How stories and meaning sabotage your performance
Practical applications for athletes and coaches
How meditation actively trains you in letting go and control

What is the paradox of control?

Those who let go of control automatically gain control over what they can influence. This may seem contradictory, but it is a fundamental principle in mental coaching in sports and performance psychology. Trying to control too much leads to tension and mistakes, while trust and letting go result in effortless performance.

This principle is evident in sports and life, entrepreneurship, and meditation. When you learn not to fight against your inner blocks but instead nurture and embrace them, you create space for growth and peak performance.

Letting go and trusting are terms that are often overused. But this is not about just understanding the words—it’s about actively training and internalizing them. Meditation for athletes is not just a method for relaxation; it is a concrete practice for developing these skills. Through meditation, you learn what truly provides stability and let go of what you cannot control—like your thoughts and the urge to always manage the outcome.

Timothy Gallwey’s Masterpiece: The Inner Game of Tennis

This book has had a profound impact on me. It was recommended by Geir Jordet, a sports psychology expert whom I met during my time at SC Heerenveen. His recommendation introduced me to a way of thinking that completely changed my approach to performance and mental training. The Inner Game of Tennis provided me with insights that apply not only to sports but also to daily life and coaching.

Timothy Gallwey’s The Inner Game of Tennis is a classic in sports psychology, offering valuable insights into how performance improvement through meditation and mental relaxation lead to peak results. He introduced the concepts of Self 1 and Self 2, illustrating that our greatest opponent is often not the competition but our internal battle between control and trust.

Gallwey explains that Self 1 is the internal critic that wants to maintain control, while Self 2 is the intuitive, natural part that performs effortlessly when given space.

Self 1 and Self 2: How We Get in Our Own Way

Self 1:

Wants to control and perfect everything
Doubts and judges every action
Increases stress and blocks performance
Gets fully caught up in the story surrounding the situation, losing sight of the present moment

Self 2:

Performs instinctively and effortlessly
Trusts experience and intuition
Enters a flow state without distraction
Focuses on what is happening now rather than the meaning attached to it

When I competed in a kite-buggy race in the Netherlands, I became obsessed with my performance. A better sponsorship deal was at stake, and I analyzed every move. My Self 1 took over, and I became completely wrapped up in the story surrounding the race—what it meant, how it would affect my career, what others would think. As a result, I lost focus on the present moment, and my actual performance suffered.

Later, during a race in England, I had no expectations and was fully immersed in the moment. I raced effortlessly, feeling the wind and speed without thinking about winning or losing. This was Self 2 in action—and it led to a top-five finish.

The Power of Letting Go and Trusting Self 2

My experiences in the Netherlands and England highlight an important lesson:

Trying to control too much blocks your own performance.
Surrendering to the moment enables effortless peak performance.
Getting lost in the story causes a loss of focus and power.

This applies not only in sports and mindfulness but also in meditation for athletes. When you follow your breath and surrender to the process, relaxation and clarity arise. Gallwey emphasizes that Self 2 functions optimally when we trust our natural ability and stop forcing outcomes.

Practical Applications for Athletes and Coaches

Want to apply these principles? Here are some techniques:

Avoid judgment: Be open to mistakes without labeling them negatively. Learn from them instead of criticizing yourself.
Focus on the process: Pay attention to movement and technique, not just the result.
Let go of the story: Recognize that your thoughts about a situation are not the situation itself. Focus on what you are doing now.
Visualization: Picture your performance in your mind and concentrate on a fluid execution.
Let the game play itself: Trust your intuition and give Self 2 the space it needs.

The Role of Meditation in Letting Go and Performing

Zen meditation for sports performance is not just a tool but an essential training method. Through meditation:

You train yourself to calm Self 1 and reduce constant self-criticism.
You strengthen Self 2, allowing for more effortless performance.
You actively practice letting go, so you no longer fight thoughts and distractions but simply let them pass.

During my rowing career, I tried to do everything at once—work, study, row, train. I convinced myself that I was “just doing a lot,” but deep down, I knew it was exhausting me. Now, I focus entirely on focus training for athletes and meditation. Yet, I still feel the urge to force growth, to pull at the root. Instead, I am learning to direct my attention to the daily work—training, breathing, the process itself—and let go of the outcome. Stress management for top athletes is about cultivating patience and being fully present with dedication.

Conclusion: Trust the Process

The greatest insight from my journey is that life dictates almost everything. Rushing and controlling hinder growth, while patience and trust lead to effortless performance.

My message to others: Meditate. This is not an option; it is a necessary training. This is the way to see through the “I-me identity” and learn to trust your natural ability. Self 1 and Self 2 are not opponents; they are yin and yang—they need each other.

Want to experience this yourself? Mindfulness training for coaches and athletes can help you improve concentration in sports and take your performance to the next level. Contact me and discover how you can perform effortlessly in sports and life.

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